From winning a Visa lottery to navigating cultural contrasts and financial constraints, my mom’s experiences have shaped an intricate narrative of personal growth, determination, and the fusion of old and new cultural identities while taking all types of risks.
The early 1990s was a rough time for Nigeria with the constant economic shift and the dynamic of culture in Lagos. My mother decided it was time for a change in her life and embarked on a transformative journey that would forever change her life. My mom decided to apply for a lottery ticket as a joke thinking that she would never win but, to her surprise, she got a letter saying that she could come to the United States through a Visa lottery and all she had to pay for was her plane ticket to the United States. My mother has exhibited courage in departing from the familiar landscapes of her homeland for a fresh start in Chula Vista, San Diego. I decided to interview my mom due to the realization that her story not only tells an individual narrative but also serves as a testament to resilience, cultural adaptation, and the pursuit of the American Dream. Throughout my interview with my mom, I was able to explore and understand the challenges she faced, how she adjusted to the American Culture, and how the impact of immigrating to America in the late 90’s has shaped her to become the amazing woman she is today.
My mom left Nigeria a couple of years after her dad died in a horrific car accident with her cousin. With the lack of information given regarding the accident, they weren’t able to understand how it happened so her whole family was forced to move on. She later told me that her dad was one of her closest friends and the accident broke her heart. Without her dad around, leaving Nigeria was not so hard for her to do because she knew she had to make changes for her future. Stepping onto foreign soil meant that she had to navigate the unfamiliar cultural landscape of the United States by herself without the support of friends or family. Coping with change became arduous as the traditional rhythms of home gave way to the dynamic pace of a new society. The struggle to forge connections and establish a sense of belonging amidst isolation showcased the resilience and fortitude required to adapt to an entirely different way of life. In facing these challenges head-on, the women who undertook this journey laid the foundation for a narrative of personal growth, determination, and the eventual fusion of old and new cultural identities. As the journey began my mother prepared to leave Nigeria she was knowingly stepping into the unknown while being uncertain of what her future would look like. The only thing she knew was that her future in the United States would look far better than what it was in Lagos Nigeria. Upon arriving in the United States, my mother found herself in a completely new world. She only had 2000 dollars to her name and had to get started somewhere. She decided that it was best for her to live in Chula Vista with the money she saved up and rushed to work with an agency to get her papers situated. Aside from that, the initial experiences were a whirlwind of cultural contrasts, from the fast-paced urban landscapes to the diversity of faces and langues that surrounded her, America looked exactly like it did in the movies and she was ready for the change. Out of all of the culture shocks she faced, she said the biggest ones were going to the store and not being able to find the ingredients to make some of her favorite meals like Fufu or Jollof rice. within the disorienting nature of this cultural shift, there emerged an eagerness to learn, to understand, and to carve a niche in this new and dynamic environment. The initial experiences, though marked by an undeniable sense of novelty, became the foundation for a journey of adaptation, growth, and a merging of her Nigerian roots with the kaleidoscope of American diversity.
While my mom was in Nigeria, she studied Statistics to become an Actuarial at Abia State Polytechnic. She later realized that her degree from her University was non-transferable and she had to restart her educational journey. My mom saw this as a huge problem because that was how she planned on making ends meet in America but this challenge turned into a blessing because she was able to do what she enjoyed which was taking care of people. Undeterred by these obstacles, she displayed remarkable adaptability and resilience. She recognized that there was a need for change in her life to continue to strive for the better. This marked a profound shift in her professional journey, as she embraced the challenges of acquiring new skills and qualifications. The transition from Statistics to nursing showcased not only her tenacity in the face of adversity but also her unwavering commitment to personal growth and the pursuit of opportunities in her adopted home. Though she settled on a career in nursing, she wasn’t able to get started due to financial constraints. When my mother first landed in the United States she decided that it was best for her to live with 4 other people.
She made this decision because she would have different people to learn from and different points of view when it came to new things. These people were strangers that she decided to trust to get things together. To make ends meet, she decided to work her very first job at McDonalds where she requested long shifts so that she could understand the American culture and make money for rent, and other expenses and save for her future. Even though she did not have any children, since she moved to the U.S. and had an upper hand in finances, she was held financially responsible for her family back home in Nigeria. This meant that if any of her siblings or mom needed money, she would be the first person they would ask. During the daunting changes, she sought solace and connection in a small Nigerian community, a haven where shared experiences provided a sense of familiarity in the midst of the unfamiliar. This community became more than just a support network; it evolved into a lifeline, offering comfort, advice, and a sense of home in a land that was both promising and challenging. When my mother was a child, her mom decided to give her a tribal mark on her face. My mom never really understood the significance of these marks besides them being tribal and moved on with her life. While growing up, having gapped teeth was a sign of beauty. Being in America she was looked down upon and decided to take matters into her own hands. Amongst other African Americans, her tribal mark became a pronounced symbol, a unique identifier that made her stand out. This physical marker presented an internal conflict, as it became a visual reminder of her Nigerian roots and the challenge of assimilating into a society where such cultural markers were less common. Faced with the desire to blend in and avoid undue attention, my mom learned the art of code-switching, covered up her tribal marks with makeup, and got braces for her gapped teeth. Code-switching allowed her to modify her communication style, adopting a more neutral accent to ensure better understanding and acceptance. While hiding her tribal mark and getting braces took pieces of Nigeria away from her appearance. The internal conflict between preserving her cultural identity and assimilating into a new society became a complex dance, one that shaped her journey of self-discovery and adaptation in the ever-evolving tapestry of her life.
Although my mom decided to move out of San Diego County about 10 years later, Chula Vista played a huge role in her immigration. She was able to easily find other Africans specifically Nigerians in the area to assist in settling down in the United States. Financial constraints led her to work at McDonald's, while her responsibilities expanded to support her family in Nigeria. In a foreign land, she found solace in a small Nigerian community, turning challenges into opportunities for personal and communal growth. Her journey included a complex dance between preserving her Nigerian identity and assimilating into American society, marked by code-switching and altering physical features. This multifaceted story encapsulates a profound narrative of courage, resilience, and the transformative power of embracing change in the pursuit of a better life.
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